Dark Angel: The Musical -- Maxie
by PreciousJax
Summary: The Original Dark Angel Musical. Accept no Imitations.
1. Act I

Oh, come on, don't act surprised. With insane-o's like the Princess (My  
Evil Alter Ego, the one you can blame for all the cliffhangers and thntire story of Forever Young) running around, and a bored Saturday aome, what do you expect?  
  
Mu-ha-ha.  
  
Okay, this is based on Annie. I've finished two of the songs, but I donave the motivation to do the rest of them right now. I've got two sampleongs, and then the other songs that are possibilities in italics. Lemmnow what you are interested in and I'll work on it.  
  
Disclaimer: I dont own Annie. I dont own the songs. I do own the sofretzel I'm eating right now though.  
  
Special Notes:  
  
Karen Murray is a fellow fanfiction writer. She has written the Tyronica  
Stories and her SN is ILOVEEYESONLY on Delphi. You can usually find herround here as I Am Afraid of Teletubies or something similar to that. I  
love making fun of her, so ner.  
  
Dark Angel: The Musical  
  
  
Act One  
  
It is June of 2019 and America is deep in the midst of the post-pulse  
Depression. In the mountains of Wyoming, the X5 Bunk of Manticore, has beehe drab home of nineteen-year-old Max. Early one chill morning, awake at  
4:00 A.M., Max wonders what her lost brother, Zack might be like (Maybe).  
  
Max:  
  
Maybe far away  
  
Or maybe real nearby  
  
He may be drinking real coffee.  
  
Or getting ready for work.  
  
Maybe in a house  
  
All hidden by a hill  
  
He's watching Pay-Per-Veiw Wrestling.  
  
Or getting drunk on Smirnoff Ice.  
  
Betcha he's pretty.  
  
Betcha he's smart.  
  
Bet he collect things  
  
Like stuffed squirrels and car hood ornaments!  
  
Betcha he's good --  
  
Why wouldn't he be?  
  
His only mistake  
  
Was giving up me!  
  
So maybe now it's time,  
  
And maybe when I wake  
  
He'll be there calling me "Baby sister"...  
  
Maybe.  
  
Betcha he smokes.  
  
Betcha he drinks.  
  
Maybe he's gay.  
  
And has a closet of clothes!  
  
Maybe he's straight  
  
As straight as a line...  
  
Don't really care  
  
As long as he's mine!  
  
So maybe now this prayer's  
  
The last one of it's kind...  
  
Won't you please  
  
come get your "Baby sister"  
  
  
  
Mr. Donald Michael Lydecker, the mean-tempered man who is in charge of  
Manticore is furious at finding Max and the X5s for not being out of bed at  
4:00 A.M. and puts them to work running laps. Max and the X5s angrilament the fact that they are living The Hard-Knock Life.  
  
It's the Hard-Knock Life  
  
X5s:  
  
It's the hard-knock life for us!  
  
It's the hard-knock life for us!  
  
Max:  
  
'Steada treated,  
  
X5s:  
  
We get Field Med!  
  
Max:  
  
'Steada kisses,  
  
X5s:  
  
We get Ammo Training!  
  
All:  
  
It's the hard-knock life!  
  
Got no knowledge of pop culture to speak of, so,  
  
It's the hard-knock row we how!  
  
Max:  
  
Hospital Gowns,  
  
X5s:  
  
'Steada of jeans!  
  
Max:  
  
Anthrax vaccinations,  
  
X5s:  
  
'Steada of Flu!  
  
All:  
  
It's the hard-knock life!  
  
Max:  
  
Don't it feel like that asshole is always bitchin'?  
  
Jhondie and Syl:  
  
Don't it seem like there's never any good literature!  
  
Zane and Krit:  
  
Once a day, don't you wanna throw a grenade?  
  
Tinga and Eva:  
  
Zane, you dumbass, we already do.  
  
Max:  
  
No one's there when your dreams at night get creepy!  
  
No one cares if you get seizures or go into heat.  
  
All:  
  
No one cares about you  
  
When you're in a super-solider!  
  
Tinga:  
  
(Making a whistling sound and imitating Lydecker)  
  
You'll stay up till you bury that senator in the woods!!  
  
X5s:  
  
Yank the hair from his receding hairline  
  
Jab his eyes out with a spoon  
  
Make her drink some rat poison  
  
We love you, Lydecker  
  
Syl:  
  
(whistle)  
  
Shoot that!  
  
(whistle)  
  
Kill him!  
  
(whistle)  
  
Blow that up!  
  
All:  
  
It's the hard-knock life for us  
  
It's the hard-knock life for us  
  
No one cares for you a smidge  
  
When you're a super-solider  
  
It's the hard-knock life  
  
It's the hard-knock life  
  
It's the hard-knock life!  
  
Later that morning, Max seizes opportunity to escape from Manticore biding in an empty box that is being hauled off in a trunk. If her brother,  
Zack isn't coming back for her, Max is going to go find him.  
  
In Seattle, city Sector Police pursue stray vehicles, but they miss one, ad-faced Ninja 600 that is immediately 'adopted' by Max, who has beeandering alone through the wintry streets of the city for ten years.  
"They're after me, too," Max tells the motercycle, and then assures hihat "Everything's gonna be fine for the both of us. If not today the...  
Tomorrow."  
  
  
Max:  
  
The sun'll come out  
  
Tomorrow  
  
Bet your bottom dollar  
  
That tomorrow  
  
There'll be sun!  
  
Just thinkin' about  
  
Tomorrow  
  
Clears away the cobwebs,  
  
And the sorrow  
  
'Til there's none!  
  
When I'm stuck a day  
  
That's gray,  
  
And lonely,  
  
I just stick out my chin  
  
And Grin,  
  
And Say,  
  
Oh  
  
The sun'll come out  
  
Tomorrow  
  
So ya gotta hang on  
  
'Til tomorrow  
  
Come what may  
  
Tomorrow!  
  
Tomorrow!  
  
I love ya  
  
Tomorrow!  
  
You're always  
  
A day  
  
Away!  
  
Detective Sung of the Seattle Police Department pulls Max over fopeeding. He suspects that Max doesn't have a driver's license and that thike isn't really hers, but Max insists that the bike is hers. Det. Sung ieluctantly persuaded that the motorcycle doesn't belongs to Max when shops and wheelie and drives away.  
  
Underneath the 59th Street Bridge is a so-called Karenville, a post-pulse-  
style shanty town that is home to an assortment of unemployed people of  
Seattle who sarcastically let it be known that 'We'd Like To Thank You,  
Karen Murray.'  
  
All:  
  
Today we're living in a box  
  
Today we're scrounging for a meal  
  
Sophie:  
  
Today I'm stealing trashcans for fires  
  
Who knew I could steal?  
  
Men:  
  
I used to winter in the tropics  
  
Women:  
  
I spent my summers at the shore  
  
Fred:  
  
I used to throw away the paper--  
  
All:  
  
We'd like to thank you: Karen Murray  
  
For really showing us the way  
  
We'd like to thank you: Karen Murray  
  
You made us what we are today  
  
Prosperity was 'round the corner  
  
The cozy cottage built for two  
  
In this blue heaven  
  
That you  
  
Gave us  
  
Yes! We're turning blue!  
  
They offered us Al Smith and A.Heiney  
  
We paid attention and we chose  
  
Not only did we pay attention  
  
We paid through the nose.  
  
In ev'ry part he said "a chicken"  
  
But Karen Murray, she set off the Pulse  
  
Not only don't we have the chicken  
  
We ain't got the pot!  
  
Hey Kar-y  
  
Women:  
  
You left behind a grateful nation  
  
All:  
  
So, Murray, our hats are off to you  
  
We're up to here with admiration  
  
Sophie:  
  
Come down and have a little stew  
  
All:  
  
Come down and share some Christmas dinner  
  
Be sure to bring the missus too  
  
We got no turkey for our stuffing  
  
We'd like to thank you, Karen Murray  
  
For really showing us the way  
  
You dirty rat, you  
  
Bureaucrat, you  
  
Made us what we are today  
  
Come and get it, Karen!  
  
Max turns up, wondering if anyone in the Karenville had ever seen herother from Manticore. Her sunny disposition (bitchy attitude) endears Mao the Karenville-ites (try to run away), who inviter her to join them in up of Mulligan stew (throw the stew at her). The police raid the  
Karenville, and Max is arrested, although the motorcycle escapes.  
  
Back at Manticore, Lydecker's nerves are at the breaking point from havino put up with Little Soldiers when Det. Sung arrives with Max in tow.  
After Det. Sung leaves, Lydecker is about to clobber Max when into  
Manticore comes Bling, who is the young and beautiful private secretary to  
Logan Cale, the billionaire journalist. Logan has decided to invite a super-  
solider to spend the Christmas holidays at home. And, to the fury of  
Lydecker, Max is chosen by Bling and driven off in a limousine.  
  
Max and Bling arrive at Logan 's downtown Seattle penthouse, where platoonf security guards are working. Max is delighted to learn that, as a guest,  
she herself won't have to do any security work. (I Think I'm Gonna Like It  
Here).  
  
Logan Cale arrives home from a business trip and is unhappy to discovehat the super-solider invited by Bling isn't a blonde. Still, he agrees take Max to the movies, to the Seattle Theater, and Logan, Max and Blinalk forty-five blocks to Times Square, through the streets of the cithat Logan loves best (Seattle.) And, while walking with Max, Logan findimself unexpectedly wanting to sleep with her.  
  
A week later, Bling turns up at Manticore to tell Lydecker that Logan haecided to sleep with Max. Lydecker is not happy about this news, to sahe least. As Bling is leaving, He bumps into Lydecker's bitch, Renfro, whs broke, just out of prison and looking for a handout from her pimp daddy.  
And with Renfro is her crack monkey lover, White. Lydecker, Renfro and  
White dream of better days for themselves on Torturing Small Animals and  
Children Street.  
  
In his penthouse, Logan is about to tell Max that he wishes to sleep witer. But first he gives her a present, a locket to replace the old brokene that she always wears. Max breaks down in tears, saying that shoesn't want a new locket, because this one she got from her brother before disappeared. And the one thing she wants in the world is to find herother. Crushed, stunned, Logan promises Max that he'll find her brotheor her. Bling and the Security guards assure Max that Logan will find herother (You Won't Be A Genetically Engineered Killing Machine For Long). 


	2. Act II

Special Notes: Cat is otherwise known as Cat Carrol, author of the J&J  
stories, Gen X6 stories, Terran, Normalizing Factor, ECT. Her alter ego is  
Evil Cat, responsible for Terran and cliffhangers. Cat, in essence, ilso the president.  
  
  
  
Act Two  
  
On a television program called "The Eyes Only Hour of Smiles," starring  
Eyes Only, Logan offers a certified check for $50,000 to anyone who carove that they are Max's brother, Zack. Eyes Only goes off the air witts background music, Baby Got Back, a song that the X5s hear over thadio in Manticore and imitate.  
  
Later that night, Lydecker has a caller at Manticore, a boy from Canada whlaims to be Max's brother, Zack. Lydecker is astonished when Zack revealimself to be White in disguise. Renfro offers to cut her brother in on the  
$50,000 reward money if she'll provide White with details he needs to pasimself off as Max's brother, Zack. Lydecker agrees to join in the plot.  
  
In Washington, at the White House, President Heiney and her Cabinet mirrohe national gloom as they listen to a radio tirade against Evil Cat. Logarrives with Max, who innocently blurts out to the glum group that thingre bound to get better soon (Lynch Evil Cat). Max's cheery spirits turnveryone, including the President, optimistic. A telegram arrives from  
Seattle saying that hundreds of people claiming to be Max's brother, Zack,  
are jamming the streets outside Logan penthouse. Logan and Max rush back to  
Seattle.  
  
At the penthouse, Bling sadly tells Logan and Max that all of the peoplho'd claimed to be her brother, Zack, had turned out to be fakes - none ohem knew about the locket. Alone with Max, Logan tells her that before shame into his life Something Was Missing. Now, with seemingly no hope leff finding Max's brother, Zack, Logan says to Max that he'd like to sleeith her. She's delighted, he's delighted, and they both joyfully agrehat I Don't Need Anything But Ortho TryCycline.  
  
At a party in the penthouse to celebrate finding Ortho TryCycline in thost pulse economy, the happy security guards feel as though it's Christmavery day since Max came along (Max). As Logan and Max are about to mact, White, in his disguise as the Zack, shows up in the bedroom and claimhat Max is his sister. And he has a fake locket that fits with Max's!  
Logan is vaguely suspicious of him, however, and asks that they come bacor Max and the $50,000 the following morning, Christmas. White leaves and  
Max jumps out the window in tears just as President Heiney pays a surprisall on Logan. Bling, half remembering that she'd bumped into Renfro at  
Manticore, tells Logan that there is something phony about Zack. Logaurns to Heiney for help from the FBI. She agrees, but says since Max ione, and her husband is gone, maybe they could make the calls from thomforts of Logan's bedroom…  
  
Christmas morning 2019, in the Penthouse. Logan and Heiney have been up alight, in constant telephone contact with the FBI (among other mornteresting activities), and they have unhappy news for Max – her brotheied many years ago due to complications that arose after a surgery temove the stick from his a**. But then who is 'Zack'? And who knew abouhe locket? Lydecker!  
  
The X5s and Lydecker arrive to spend Christmas at the penthouse. White,  
again in his disguise as Zack, comes to collect Max and the check for  
$50,000. But the jig is up - the FBI arrests Renfro, White and Lydecker,  
who are dragged away screaming songs from the mid-nineteen-eighties. A huge  
Christmas box arrives for Max - in it is the motorcycle, which has beeound for Logan by the police. Happy ending as Max, Logan, Bling and algree that this Christmas is the beginning of a wonderful new life for nonly them but for everyone in America (MaxAss For Christmas). 


End file.
